Oh yeah, I almost forgot that for the last three months I have been seeing someone else. The formal dates gradually turned into drunk, late-night booty calls, as I tried to distance myself from a relationship which I had no emotional investment in. From the beginning he wanted more than I could give and in the end, I knew he would be hurt. I was always honest about my lack of interest in a relationship with him. He reported that this was fine, but deep down I knew better.
As I was busy getting down with this new guy, I could hear my cell phone ringing in the background. "Dammit baby I need yo body" was one of the texts. "Are you going to be free tonight?"
I responded afterwards with a little white lie: "I was at dinner and it ran late." As soon as I sent it, I knew that the booty calls were done. I had lied to a partner, and I felt guilty.
I thought he deserved a full conversation, so I decided to tell him in person. Big mistake. We met up for drinks and instead of telling him how I felt, we started making out. After about ten seconds of kissing, my head was swimming and I pulled away. I told him that I couldn't see him any more, that I wanted to be friends but we had to take the intimacy out of the relationship.
In spite of the fact that my lack of romantic feelings were clearly stated from date #3, he appeared dumbfounded. He tried to argue with me and insisted that he could handle casual sex with no strings attached. I stood my ground.
"So you asked me out tonight to break up with me?," he asked. "Because this would have been a bang-up phone conversation."
Noted.
I spent a good portion of an hour explaining that I wanted out of our non-relationship, so when a slough of text messages arrived later that night I was perplexed.
"I didn't see a change in gears in the offing, as honest as you were with me you either weren't as honest with yourself or the power dynamics tilted sensationally away from me. I spent the last three weeks missing you but the function of me not doing so was greater than the reality. I'm trying to understand the function."
Huh?!?
And they continued: "I'm totally addicted to our physical chemistry, so it's tough. I hope you see fit to get naked with me once again, otherwise I harbor absolutely no ill will."
I responded, "Ok, thanks. I will let you know if anything changes. Either way, I'm happy to have your friendship."
But was that the end? Oh no. There had to be a last word: "After further thought still, in honesty I do have deeper feelings for you that I have sublimated for a roll in the hay (that I don't even qualify for any longer) so don't bother pondering any more I'm not interested."
Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
As I was busy getting down with this new guy, I could hear my cell phone ringing in the background. "Dammit baby I need yo body" was one of the texts. "Are you going to be free tonight?"
I responded afterwards with a little white lie: "I was at dinner and it ran late." As soon as I sent it, I knew that the booty calls were done. I had lied to a partner, and I felt guilty.
I thought he deserved a full conversation, so I decided to tell him in person. Big mistake. We met up for drinks and instead of telling him how I felt, we started making out. After about ten seconds of kissing, my head was swimming and I pulled away. I told him that I couldn't see him any more, that I wanted to be friends but we had to take the intimacy out of the relationship.
In spite of the fact that my lack of romantic feelings were clearly stated from date #3, he appeared dumbfounded. He tried to argue with me and insisted that he could handle casual sex with no strings attached. I stood my ground.
"So you asked me out tonight to break up with me?," he asked. "Because this would have been a bang-up phone conversation."
Noted.
I spent a good portion of an hour explaining that I wanted out of our non-relationship, so when a slough of text messages arrived later that night I was perplexed.
"I didn't see a change in gears in the offing, as honest as you were with me you either weren't as honest with yourself or the power dynamics tilted sensationally away from me. I spent the last three weeks missing you but the function of me not doing so was greater than the reality. I'm trying to understand the function."
Huh?!?
And they continued: "I'm totally addicted to our physical chemistry, so it's tough. I hope you see fit to get naked with me once again, otherwise I harbor absolutely no ill will."
I responded, "Ok, thanks. I will let you know if anything changes. Either way, I'm happy to have your friendship."
But was that the end? Oh no. There had to be a last word: "After further thought still, in honesty I do have deeper feelings for you that I have sublimated for a roll in the hay (that I don't even qualify for any longer) so don't bother pondering any more I'm not interested."
Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
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