I couldn't start dating in Portland before I had a real bed. It may be the most hipster city in the world, but "Wanna come over and bend me over my air mattress?" sounds a bit juvenile, so I waited two months until I was settled into my job and home, with a brand new mattress and frame, to reactivate my OkCupid profile.
PORTLAND, where dreams are made! Single female paradise where the men are intelligent, funny, outdoorsy, caring, liberal, good listeners, mature, non-bearded, and none of them work in tech! NOT A SINGLE ONE!
... #78 was fine. I didn't hate him, and I got free ice cream out of the deal. I felt encouraged- not hating my date was a step above ninety percent of the men I'd met in the previous five years. Maybe Seattle was the complete failure, not me?!?
When #79 sent me a message on OkCupid, I got a little nervous. His words were funny and well-written, his photos attractive, and he had a PhD from an Ivy League school in a field that had nothing to do with computer programing or web design, yet was nerdy enough to pique my interest. I was hesitant to meet him because intuition told me I'd like him in person, which could get messy because...
"I noticed that you're looking for someone to have kids with. Is it going to be a problem that that is not something I'm looking for?"
He is 47 with two children in late adolescence. That stage of his life is over.
I was a bit torn. I think I want kids, but I can picture my life without them, and can I afford to be that picky after five years of singledom? I didn't want to deny myself a good date, so I lied a little, told him it wasn't an absolute dealbreaker, and secretly hoped I would have a mediocre time and could move on to #80.
But my internet dating intuition, honed from years of practice, was right. I liked him. We drank Pacificos on the porch at Vendetta, and when my beer was finished, I didn't want to run home and cry. For the first time in years, I had a second drink on a first date. He was worth the calories.
He texted just as I got home: "R______ that was fun. I think you're cool. And super attractive."
Perfect. I'd had a great first date with a man who made it clear from the get-go that he is done with the child-raising years. Can this possibly go anywhere good?
PORTLAND, where dreams are made! Single female paradise where the men are intelligent, funny, outdoorsy, caring, liberal, good listeners, mature, non-bearded, and none of them work in tech! NOT A SINGLE ONE!
... #78 was fine. I didn't hate him, and I got free ice cream out of the deal. I felt encouraged- not hating my date was a step above ninety percent of the men I'd met in the previous five years. Maybe Seattle was the complete failure, not me?!?
When #79 sent me a message on OkCupid, I got a little nervous. His words were funny and well-written, his photos attractive, and he had a PhD from an Ivy League school in a field that had nothing to do with computer programing or web design, yet was nerdy enough to pique my interest. I was hesitant to meet him because intuition told me I'd like him in person, which could get messy because...
"I noticed that you're looking for someone to have kids with. Is it going to be a problem that that is not something I'm looking for?"
He is 47 with two children in late adolescence. That stage of his life is over.
I was a bit torn. I think I want kids, but I can picture my life without them, and can I afford to be that picky after five years of singledom? I didn't want to deny myself a good date, so I lied a little, told him it wasn't an absolute dealbreaker, and secretly hoped I would have a mediocre time and could move on to #80.
But my internet dating intuition, honed from years of practice, was right. I liked him. We drank Pacificos on the porch at Vendetta, and when my beer was finished, I didn't want to run home and cry. For the first time in years, I had a second drink on a first date. He was worth the calories.
He texted just as I got home: "R______ that was fun. I think you're cool. And super attractive."
Perfect. I'd had a great first date with a man who made it clear from the get-go that he is done with the child-raising years. Can this possibly go anywhere good?
