As I regroup and sort through my OkCupid matches, I fall back to thinking about my serious boyfriends and how they shaped the qualities that I am looking for. My dating choices have long perplexed my friends because on the surface, I don't seem to have a "type."
Three times I have been in love.
#1 is White, Jewish, 31 years old, raised by a single dad, lives in Germany, is working on a PhD, and is brilliant as fuck.
#2 is Latino, Catholic, 29 years old, raised by a single mom, lives in Guatemala, dropped out of college to become a priest, then dropped out of the priesthood to work in business and not be celibate.
#3 is Black, Baptist, 27 years old, raised by married parents, lives in America, went to college for one quarter, joined the military, served in Iraq, and then became a medical assistant.
So what do they all have in common, besides me?
They were all fun, up for anything at any moment, could have an equally good time camping under the stars as tearing up the dance floor.
They were all easy-going, patient, difficult to anger.
They were all good listeners with open minds.
They all made me want to be a better person.
It is this last commonality that I focus on most because when I'm in love, I'm inspired to live ethically. If a man doesn't challenge me to improve, the relationship isn't worth it.
So back to square one with some clarity and focus- until another distraction comes along.
Three times I have been in love.
#1 is White, Jewish, 31 years old, raised by a single dad, lives in Germany, is working on a PhD, and is brilliant as fuck.
#2 is Latino, Catholic, 29 years old, raised by a single mom, lives in Guatemala, dropped out of college to become a priest, then dropped out of the priesthood to work in business and not be celibate.
#3 is Black, Baptist, 27 years old, raised by married parents, lives in America, went to college for one quarter, joined the military, served in Iraq, and then became a medical assistant.
So what do they all have in common, besides me?
They were all fun, up for anything at any moment, could have an equally good time camping under the stars as tearing up the dance floor.
They were all easy-going, patient, difficult to anger.
They were all good listeners with open minds.
They all made me want to be a better person.
It is this last commonality that I focus on most because when I'm in love, I'm inspired to live ethically. If a man doesn't challenge me to improve, the relationship isn't worth it.
So back to square one with some clarity and focus- until another distraction comes along.
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