It has been over six weeks since my last date, largely due to a growing intuition of OkCupid red flags that I've accumulated over the last three years.
I move on immediately at the first hint of an open relationship or professional involvement with the tech industry, but the other red flags probably aren't what you would expect. They are descriptions like "recent Seattle transplant," pictures of men in front of Machu Picchu or posing with Africans, references to Burning Man, or when a man fills in the "I'm really good at ________" section with the words "most things I put my mind to." With a few notable exceptions, my dates have been shockingly arrogant.
Most of the profiles blend together by this point, using similar verbiage designed to make them stand out but in reality highlighting the homogeneity of my dating pool. The Midwest or East Coast transplant with a college degree who loves live music, rock climbs, has visited between 5-10 countries, participates in flamethrowing, and brews his own beer is my quintessential date.
So when I came across the profile of the man who will be my 73rd first date, he stood out by his averageness. His entire self summary was as follows:
I'm old fashioned. I like black and white film photography, slow travel(wooden sailboats, freight trains), reading, cycling, urban exploring, taking time off of work to leave town." It had refreshingly little information about his life.
Under Education it said "Dropped out of university." Under Drinks it said "Often." Under Drugs it said "Sometimes." He had a single picture- a selfie- in a white wifebeater with slightly disheveled curly hair. In our short message exchange he noted that he worked in the kitchen of a major grocery store chain.
We made plans to hang out next week, and I have a single hope for the evening:
JUST DON'T FUCKING SUCK
Please.
I move on immediately at the first hint of an open relationship or professional involvement with the tech industry, but the other red flags probably aren't what you would expect. They are descriptions like "recent Seattle transplant," pictures of men in front of Machu Picchu or posing with Africans, references to Burning Man, or when a man fills in the "I'm really good at ________" section with the words "most things I put my mind to." With a few notable exceptions, my dates have been shockingly arrogant.
Most of the profiles blend together by this point, using similar verbiage designed to make them stand out but in reality highlighting the homogeneity of my dating pool. The Midwest or East Coast transplant with a college degree who loves live music, rock climbs, has visited between 5-10 countries, participates in flamethrowing, and brews his own beer is my quintessential date.
So when I came across the profile of the man who will be my 73rd first date, he stood out by his averageness. His entire self summary was as follows:
I'm old fashioned. I like black and white film photography, slow travel(wooden sailboats, freight trains), reading, cycling, urban exploring, taking time off of work to leave town." It had refreshingly little information about his life.
Under Education it said "Dropped out of university." Under Drinks it said "Often." Under Drugs it said "Sometimes." He had a single picture- a selfie- in a white wifebeater with slightly disheveled curly hair. In our short message exchange he noted that he worked in the kitchen of a major grocery store chain.
We made plans to hang out next week, and I have a single hope for the evening:
JUST DON'T FUCKING SUCK
Please.
No comments:
Post a Comment