It has been over a month since I last went on a date. I'm sticking to my resolution to only sleep with men I like, and as a direct consequence of that, I'm only going on dates with men I like which means, if you follow logically, that I have not encountered any men I like in the last thirty days. Cool.
Because you never know when an attraction might form, I set my OkCupid filters to be quite broad, searching all men looking for women living within 25 miles of Seattle between the ages of 28 to 46. I scrolled down my matches, clicking on the isolated pictures that piqued my interest in any way whatsoever. A few men seemed awesome but then their profiles had dealbreaker words like "non-monogamous" and "doesn't have kids and doesn't want any." I kept on scrolling. Over an hour passed as I looked for a person who drew me in, then I hit an OkCupid dead-end:
That's everyone we could find
If you set a lot of filters, you might not get any results
Try broadening your search settings
I couldn't believe it. I had glanced over the pictures of every single man in the Greater Seattle area within an eighteen year age range, and I hadn't wanted to contact any of them. That's really, really bad.
Engineer with the Houseboat, who I dated briefly in the early summer, tells me to be more hopeful. We got over the whole "You should have broken up with me in a text message!" argument and became friends. He, being a normal, fun man who can carry a conversation, is currently dating multiple women and feels stretched thin with his romantic prospects. I, on the other hand, have never dated two people at the same time- not because I'm opposed to it, but because it takes a Herculean effort for me to find any sort of connection with one man, much less two.
But hopeful I try to be. I'm just also being pickier.
Because you never know when an attraction might form, I set my OkCupid filters to be quite broad, searching all men looking for women living within 25 miles of Seattle between the ages of 28 to 46. I scrolled down my matches, clicking on the isolated pictures that piqued my interest in any way whatsoever. A few men seemed awesome but then their profiles had dealbreaker words like "non-monogamous" and "doesn't have kids and doesn't want any." I kept on scrolling. Over an hour passed as I looked for a person who drew me in, then I hit an OkCupid dead-end:
That's everyone we could find
If you set a lot of filters, you might not get any results
Try broadening your search settings
I couldn't believe it. I had glanced over the pictures of every single man in the Greater Seattle area within an eighteen year age range, and I hadn't wanted to contact any of them. That's really, really bad.
Engineer with the Houseboat, who I dated briefly in the early summer, tells me to be more hopeful. We got over the whole "You should have broken up with me in a text message!" argument and became friends. He, being a normal, fun man who can carry a conversation, is currently dating multiple women and feels stretched thin with his romantic prospects. I, on the other hand, have never dated two people at the same time- not because I'm opposed to it, but because it takes a Herculean effort for me to find any sort of connection with one man, much less two.
But hopeful I try to be. I'm just also being pickier.
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