Let's get some answers to the basic questions out of the way...
Yes, he showed up wearing flannel.
No, he did not shave.
No, he is not in an open relationship.
I did not specifically ask if he programs computers, but I suspect the answer is no.
No, he did not ask for anal sex- yet.
Yes, he has a criminal record.
And no, my 59th first date was fun, but not good enough to end the two and a half year saga.
Also, as he revealed in the first five minutes of conversation, he has a child! Baby mama and I share the same first name.
Criminal records, children, beards, and flannel are far from turn-ons but aren't on my list of dealbreakers either. So why is it that I had a good time-one of the best times I've had on a date in Seattle- but don't see a relationship blossoming?
It is the Seattleishness, the awkward, nervous, lack of self-confidence that permeates my dates in this city. It is the fact that when I invited him up to my apartment, he anxiously sat on my couch for fifteen minutes talking to me and touching my leg before I became exasperated and said "Am I going to have to kiss you first or can you do it?!?" It is that he kept apologizing- for swearing in conversation, for not sending a followup text message soon enough, for not knowing a good bar to go to. I've never been in city where men said "I'm sorry" so often for things of such little consequence. It's impossible to adequately explain male Seattle culture in words, but residents here know what I'm referring to. There is a skittishness, a hesitancy to take action that makes me lose interest quickly. I am a planner and a dreamer, a person who tries to live every moment in life with a purpose. With the exception of the man I was seeing a year ago, I haven't found that quality in my dates.
Will I see him again? Probably. I still had fun, and I will give it another shot. But my instinct tells me that it won't last, that I will lose interest and move on to find what I'm looking for.
I will end up going on a 60th first date.
Yes, he showed up wearing flannel.
No, he did not shave.
No, he is not in an open relationship.
I did not specifically ask if he programs computers, but I suspect the answer is no.
No, he did not ask for anal sex- yet.
Yes, he has a criminal record.
And no, my 59th first date was fun, but not good enough to end the two and a half year saga.
Also, as he revealed in the first five minutes of conversation, he has a child! Baby mama and I share the same first name.
Criminal records, children, beards, and flannel are far from turn-ons but aren't on my list of dealbreakers either. So why is it that I had a good time-one of the best times I've had on a date in Seattle- but don't see a relationship blossoming?
It is the Seattleishness, the awkward, nervous, lack of self-confidence that permeates my dates in this city. It is the fact that when I invited him up to my apartment, he anxiously sat on my couch for fifteen minutes talking to me and touching my leg before I became exasperated and said "Am I going to have to kiss you first or can you do it?!?" It is that he kept apologizing- for swearing in conversation, for not sending a followup text message soon enough, for not knowing a good bar to go to. I've never been in city where men said "I'm sorry" so often for things of such little consequence. It's impossible to adequately explain male Seattle culture in words, but residents here know what I'm referring to. There is a skittishness, a hesitancy to take action that makes me lose interest quickly. I am a planner and a dreamer, a person who tries to live every moment in life with a purpose. With the exception of the man I was seeing a year ago, I haven't found that quality in my dates.
Will I see him again? Probably. I still had fun, and I will give it another shot. But my instinct tells me that it won't last, that I will lose interest and move on to find what I'm looking for.
I will end up going on a 60th first date.
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