My friend and blog reader had a party last night and clued me in beforehand about a man she wanted me to meet: "I think he's your type! He's a social worker. He does have a beard though..."
She knows me well. I met him and he was, for the most part, a pretty good guess at someone I would be interested in, with the obvious turnoff of copious Seattle facial hair. We spent a good chunk of the evening talking, and I soon placed him in the category of someone-I-would-go-on-a-date-with-and-possibly-sleep-with-but-wouldn't-consider-dating-long-term, which begs the question of why I would consider dating him at all. I don't think I've figured out a satisfactory answer for that recurring query, although whatever the truth is involves at least 80% boredom and a healthy amount of desperation.
"You're single, right?", he asked. "I mean, we've been talking for most of the night now."
Being single has become so integral to my identity that I can't imagine ever answering that question with a response besides an exhaustive "yes."
I told him I blogged about my experiences dating in Seattle, and he seemed intrigued. "Can I get on your blog?"
"Well we'd have to go on a date first."
"Yeah, that's what I'm asking you."
Sweet! I love being asked out on dates from men I meet in person. Not only is it flattering, but on a higher level it gives me hope that we live in a world where people take chances and don't hide behind the safety net of a computer screen. I will always, always say yes to a man who asks me out who I didn't meet online, even if I don't think I'm interested. It may not be a love match, but it is likely to be a decent time, and I am on a mission to encourage the organic dating process in Seattle.
It was getting late and I excused myself from the conversation to say goodbye to some friends. I returned to say I was heading home, and I asked him if he wanted to get my number.
He shook his head, "No."
HUH?!?!?!?
"I'm not really looking to date right now."
Clearly if he had been interested in me, he would have been looking to date. That's the way romance works. But for the love of a God that none of these Pacific Northwest atheist men believe in, if you don't want to go out with a woman, DON'T ASK HER OUT AND THEN FIVE MINUTES LATER TELL HER YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH HER. That is passive aggressiveness at its worst! It involves being so passive about not wanting to date someone that you overcompensate by being aggressive and ask them out even though you're not interested!
Am I laughing, or am I crying? Sometimes I can't tell.
She knows me well. I met him and he was, for the most part, a pretty good guess at someone I would be interested in, with the obvious turnoff of copious Seattle facial hair. We spent a good chunk of the evening talking, and I soon placed him in the category of someone-I-would-go-on-a-date-with-and-possibly-sleep-with-but-wouldn't-consider-dating-long-term, which begs the question of why I would consider dating him at all. I don't think I've figured out a satisfactory answer for that recurring query, although whatever the truth is involves at least 80% boredom and a healthy amount of desperation.
"You're single, right?", he asked. "I mean, we've been talking for most of the night now."
Being single has become so integral to my identity that I can't imagine ever answering that question with a response besides an exhaustive "yes."
I told him I blogged about my experiences dating in Seattle, and he seemed intrigued. "Can I get on your blog?"
"Well we'd have to go on a date first."
"Yeah, that's what I'm asking you."
Sweet! I love being asked out on dates from men I meet in person. Not only is it flattering, but on a higher level it gives me hope that we live in a world where people take chances and don't hide behind the safety net of a computer screen. I will always, always say yes to a man who asks me out who I didn't meet online, even if I don't think I'm interested. It may not be a love match, but it is likely to be a decent time, and I am on a mission to encourage the organic dating process in Seattle.
It was getting late and I excused myself from the conversation to say goodbye to some friends. I returned to say I was heading home, and I asked him if he wanted to get my number.
He shook his head, "No."
HUH?!?!?!?
"I'm not really looking to date right now."
Clearly if he had been interested in me, he would have been looking to date. That's the way romance works. But for the love of a God that none of these Pacific Northwest atheist men believe in, if you don't want to go out with a woman, DON'T ASK HER OUT AND THEN FIVE MINUTES LATER TELL HER YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH HER. That is passive aggressiveness at its worst! It involves being so passive about not wanting to date someone that you overcompensate by being aggressive and ask them out even though you're not interested!
Am I laughing, or am I crying? Sometimes I can't tell.
No comments:
Post a Comment