Today I renewed my driver's license with a photo of me with a giant hickey on my neck.
Wait, let me back up.
He was a friend of a friend, which is usually how my more successful dates start. The mutual friend didn't think he was my type, but she thought we should all go out casually together and see if there was any chemistry.
He was Black and a social worker, which is my type if I ever had one. Not White AND helps to save the world? Sold! Didn't matter that he was four years my junior. I asked him out, and we went out for dinner and drinks later that week. Our first date ended at his apartment, holding hands and making out in his living room. I had fun.
I had a general feeling all along that I was more interested than he was. It was refreshing, though, after being on countless dates where I was the uninterested party, to want to pursue someone else. When you sit through date after date with no chemistry on your end, it is fun to finally feel a little emotion, even if you sense the emotion doesn't flow both ways.
He came over to my apartment on the second date to "watch a movie." The movie never even started before we began to kiss, clothes were removed, and we migrated to the bedroom. When we were lying in a sweaty mess an hour later I knew that he wasn't feeling it and, being honest with myself, I wasn't either. Sex on the second date can be a good thing when the chemistry's right but fails miserably when the chemistry wasn't entirely there to being with.
Which brings me to today, when I have a hickey the size of Texas on my neck, I had a driver's license photo taken, I have to go to work wearing a turtleneck in mid-July, and I received a very cordial text message from a man saying he does not want to date me but would like to "hang out as friends". Yikes!
I've had casual sex twice in the last eight days. It was needed- badly- but I think the itch is scratched, and I'm set in that department for awhile. I have more dates lined up this week, and I'm going to focus on seeing if there is potential for a relationship that lasts longer than a night or two. For now, sex can wait until the fourth date.
Wait, let me back up.
He was a friend of a friend, which is usually how my more successful dates start. The mutual friend didn't think he was my type, but she thought we should all go out casually together and see if there was any chemistry.
He was Black and a social worker, which is my type if I ever had one. Not White AND helps to save the world? Sold! Didn't matter that he was four years my junior. I asked him out, and we went out for dinner and drinks later that week. Our first date ended at his apartment, holding hands and making out in his living room. I had fun.
I had a general feeling all along that I was more interested than he was. It was refreshing, though, after being on countless dates where I was the uninterested party, to want to pursue someone else. When you sit through date after date with no chemistry on your end, it is fun to finally feel a little emotion, even if you sense the emotion doesn't flow both ways.
He came over to my apartment on the second date to "watch a movie." The movie never even started before we began to kiss, clothes were removed, and we migrated to the bedroom. When we were lying in a sweaty mess an hour later I knew that he wasn't feeling it and, being honest with myself, I wasn't either. Sex on the second date can be a good thing when the chemistry's right but fails miserably when the chemistry wasn't entirely there to being with.
Which brings me to today, when I have a hickey the size of Texas on my neck, I had a driver's license photo taken, I have to go to work wearing a turtleneck in mid-July, and I received a very cordial text message from a man saying he does not want to date me but would like to "hang out as friends". Yikes!
I've had casual sex twice in the last eight days. It was needed- badly- but I think the itch is scratched, and I'm set in that department for awhile. I have more dates lined up this week, and I'm going to focus on seeing if there is potential for a relationship that lasts longer than a night or two. For now, sex can wait until the fourth date.
No comments:
Post a Comment