It all started with a Facebook post. My intelligent, sexy, kind, funny, hardworking, compassionate exboyfriend- who volunteered to coach a little league baseball team and donated money to his baby sister's college fund- was tagged in the photo album of a woman seven years my junior who gleefully announced to the world, "My boyfriend made my roommate breakfast!"
This wouldn't have been noteworthy, except that this was posted about one week after we broke up amidst his reassurance that he had not been seeing anyone else. Further examination (stalking) of this young woman's public Facebook profile revealed the first joyous exclamation about her new relationship, followed by a string of Korean emoticons, less than 24 hours after he ended our union.
My exboyfriend, who in my 29 years of life is the only man I have ever seriously considered marrying, denied it to the very end. "I bought her dinner and kissed her once, but she's not my girlfriend," he claimed. "It would be a mistake to sleep with her. I need to talk to her and clarify our relationship."
It sounded plausible, but I still had my suspicions. For example, she kept posting about her "boyfriend" after he supposedly clarified with her that they were friends- nothing more. Then he would cancel plans he had with me and invite her to the same event, another fact I found out when he was tagged on Facebook. All the time he denied being in a relationship with her and insisted that she was a friend, his support system. And because I loved him and thought of him as the most amazing human being I'd ever met, I believed him.
I will sum up the long story of how he was caught lying in the following steps:
1) He showed up at my house in rural Washington wasted after getting a ride on Craiglist ride share and drinking copious amounts of hard alcohol in the car.
2) I was annoyed at having to babysit my belligerent exboyfriend when we had plans together and thought I'd use his cell phone to check my email while he slept the alcohol off.
3) While trying to access my email I found text messages to the other woman that CLEARLY indicated that she was his girlfriend (him referring to her as his girlfriend is always a good clue).
4) I found flirty text messages to other women from an internet dating website that somehow left out the fact that he had a girlfriend.
When I woke him from his drunken stupor and confronted him, he didn't try to deny it any more.
Intoxicated and crying, he spewed apologies... "I was in love with you, and you moved!" "I told my mom I found the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with!" "I wanted you to be the mother of my children!" Everything fell apart when you left!" "I miss you so much!" "I've only slept with her three or four times, and I thought about you every time!"
And still, because I loved him and thought of him as the most amazing human being I'd ever met, I believed him...
This wouldn't have been noteworthy, except that this was posted about one week after we broke up amidst his reassurance that he had not been seeing anyone else. Further examination (stalking) of this young woman's public Facebook profile revealed the first joyous exclamation about her new relationship, followed by a string of Korean emoticons, less than 24 hours after he ended our union.
My exboyfriend, who in my 29 years of life is the only man I have ever seriously considered marrying, denied it to the very end. "I bought her dinner and kissed her once, but she's not my girlfriend," he claimed. "It would be a mistake to sleep with her. I need to talk to her and clarify our relationship."
It sounded plausible, but I still had my suspicions. For example, she kept posting about her "boyfriend" after he supposedly clarified with her that they were friends- nothing more. Then he would cancel plans he had with me and invite her to the same event, another fact I found out when he was tagged on Facebook. All the time he denied being in a relationship with her and insisted that she was a friend, his support system. And because I loved him and thought of him as the most amazing human being I'd ever met, I believed him.
I will sum up the long story of how he was caught lying in the following steps:
1) He showed up at my house in rural Washington wasted after getting a ride on Craiglist ride share and drinking copious amounts of hard alcohol in the car.
2) I was annoyed at having to babysit my belligerent exboyfriend when we had plans together and thought I'd use his cell phone to check my email while he slept the alcohol off.
3) While trying to access my email I found text messages to the other woman that CLEARLY indicated that she was his girlfriend (him referring to her as his girlfriend is always a good clue).
4) I found flirty text messages to other women from an internet dating website that somehow left out the fact that he had a girlfriend.
When I woke him from his drunken stupor and confronted him, he didn't try to deny it any more.
Intoxicated and crying, he spewed apologies... "I was in love with you, and you moved!" "I told my mom I found the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with!" "I wanted you to be the mother of my children!" Everything fell apart when you left!" "I miss you so much!" "I've only slept with her three or four times, and I thought about you every time!"
And still, because I loved him and thought of him as the most amazing human being I'd ever met, I believed him...
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