If you are my friend and live in Seattle, chances are that I have asked you to set me up with every single man you know. I will go out with any friend of a friend- sight unseen- as long as there is reasonable evidence that he does not have a lying problem. Your friend is a forty year old twice divorced father of six? Sounds perfect. He dropped out of high school to concentrate on his improv career? Tell him I'm free this weekend. He's still in high school? That's a little young, but have him call me when he's eighteen.
One blind date recently was with a friend of a friend of a friend. That's right, it took three degrees of separation to find me an eligible bachelor. I knew I wasn't interested immediately, but walking out on a friend of a friend of a friend would be rude, so I decided it was best to force some conversation and enjoy a meal.
I purposefully didn't order a drink because I wanted to be in and out as fast as possible and still be sober for the drive home. He got a pint of beer with his food, and we settled in for the usual first date pleasantries. Within two minutes I was already bored hearing about his IT job, and I started grasping for any interesting topic of conversation. Food took forever to arrive, and I ate furiously so that we could both put ourselves out of horrible first date misery. When we finished eating, the waitress cleared our plates and offered him another pint.
"Please say no, please say no, please say no...," I begged of God.
He said yes.
Two pints later we had talked about our work, our friends, our families, our hobbies, the sun and the moon, how to knit a sweater, the poetry of Ralph Waldo Emerson, why dogs chase cats, why cats chase mice, why mice are dumb and don't chase anything, and who the hell knows what else. I was done and had been ever since I walked in the door. That's when the waitress noticed that his glass was empty and did not pick up on my telepathic bad date messages when she asked, "Can I get you another drink?"
He said yes.
WHAT MAN DRINKS THREE PINTS OF BEER WHEN HIS DATE HAS NOT HAD A SINGLE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE?!?!?!?!?
So yeah, it didn't work out.
One blind date recently was with a friend of a friend of a friend. That's right, it took three degrees of separation to find me an eligible bachelor. I knew I wasn't interested immediately, but walking out on a friend of a friend of a friend would be rude, so I decided it was best to force some conversation and enjoy a meal.
I purposefully didn't order a drink because I wanted to be in and out as fast as possible and still be sober for the drive home. He got a pint of beer with his food, and we settled in for the usual first date pleasantries. Within two minutes I was already bored hearing about his IT job, and I started grasping for any interesting topic of conversation. Food took forever to arrive, and I ate furiously so that we could both put ourselves out of horrible first date misery. When we finished eating, the waitress cleared our plates and offered him another pint.
"Please say no, please say no, please say no...," I begged of God.
He said yes.
Two pints later we had talked about our work, our friends, our families, our hobbies, the sun and the moon, how to knit a sweater, the poetry of Ralph Waldo Emerson, why dogs chase cats, why cats chase mice, why mice are dumb and don't chase anything, and who the hell knows what else. I was done and had been ever since I walked in the door. That's when the waitress noticed that his glass was empty and did not pick up on my telepathic bad date messages when she asked, "Can I get you another drink?"
He said yes.
WHAT MAN DRINKS THREE PINTS OF BEER WHEN HIS DATE HAS NOT HAD A SINGLE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE?!?!?!?!?
So yeah, it didn't work out.
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