Today we're going to talk about suspected criminals/men I go out with.
"I don't know a single person who's been arrested!", stated a friend. "How do you find these guys?"
I have no clue. I don't have any friends or family who have been in jail. The closest I've ever come to a criminal record is when a police officer pulled me over for driving too slow in the left lane of the highway. That was over ten years ago, and I got off with a warning. I can't blame it on internet dating because a lot of the men I met offline. Not sure what it is about me, but I love the lawbreakers.
So here are the reasons men I've been with have gotten into legal trouble, along with the excuses about why they broke the law:
1) Motor vehicle hit-and-run ("I just barely tapped the guy")
2) Driving with expired tabs and outstanding tickets (He was Black.)
3) Threatening an ex-girlfriend (He tried to be funny and sent her a package with an axe inside and a note saying "Let's bury the hatchet." She got a restraining order against him).
4) Breaking into an ex-girlfriend's apartment and ransacking her home ("I was off my meds. If I just take my meds I'm fine.")
5) Holding up a "Free Tibet" sign in the middle of Tiananmen Square during the Beijing Olympics
(No excuse given and really, none needed)
6) Breaking and entering a public pool in the middle of the night ("We were 21, in college, and hammered. They had an Olympic high dive.")
7) DUI. (No excuse. He feels horrible about it and is relieved he didn't hurt anyone.)
8) Vandalism (He's a PhD candidate with a special interest in anarchist philosophy)
Will add to the list as they come along.
"I don't know a single person who's been arrested!", stated a friend. "How do you find these guys?"
I have no clue. I don't have any friends or family who have been in jail. The closest I've ever come to a criminal record is when a police officer pulled me over for driving too slow in the left lane of the highway. That was over ten years ago, and I got off with a warning. I can't blame it on internet dating because a lot of the men I met offline. Not sure what it is about me, but I love the lawbreakers.
So here are the reasons men I've been with have gotten into legal trouble, along with the excuses about why they broke the law:
1) Motor vehicle hit-and-run ("I just barely tapped the guy")
2) Driving with expired tabs and outstanding tickets (He was Black.)
3) Threatening an ex-girlfriend (He tried to be funny and sent her a package with an axe inside and a note saying "Let's bury the hatchet." She got a restraining order against him).
4) Breaking into an ex-girlfriend's apartment and ransacking her home ("I was off my meds. If I just take my meds I'm fine.")
5) Holding up a "Free Tibet" sign in the middle of Tiananmen Square during the Beijing Olympics
(No excuse given and really, none needed)
6) Breaking and entering a public pool in the middle of the night ("We were 21, in college, and hammered. They had an Olympic high dive.")
7) DUI. (No excuse. He feels horrible about it and is relieved he didn't hurt anyone.)
8) Vandalism (He's a PhD candidate with a special interest in anarchist philosophy)
Will add to the list as they come along.
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