At Planned Parenthood a few months ago, getting tested yet again, the medical assistant made a seemingly innocent comment while looking through my chart:
"Oh, I can see you've been in here a lot."
I laughed, then an internal panic set in. Does that make me really responsible? Or does that make me the opposite? In the last twelve months I had sex with seven different men, none of whom was a boyfriend. In fact, there were only two men who I had any interest in making a boyfriend. That's a lot of potential exposures to diseases and pregnancy and uncomfortable conversations that run along the lines of "So I know I slept with you, but I'm just not that interested..." Some of the men took it well. Others were upset. No matter how casual we intend to be about sex, it complicates things.
Which brings me to my new resolution, heading into my 71st and 72nd first dates that are on the books for this week:
I am only going to sleep with men who I like.
Novel idea, right? I first thought of it after I had sober sex with Crazy Chinatown Man. That sex had intention, for him and for me. We knew it was coming and had discussed it briefly beforehand as legally consenting adults without alcohol in our systems. Four dates in we were far from a relationship, but the sex felt a little relationship-y. I liked him. He liked me. There was a purpose... I can't go back to fucking men for the sake of fucking- nor do I want to.
Which means, my blog may get less interesting. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
"Oh, I can see you've been in here a lot."
I laughed, then an internal panic set in. Does that make me really responsible? Or does that make me the opposite? In the last twelve months I had sex with seven different men, none of whom was a boyfriend. In fact, there were only two men who I had any interest in making a boyfriend. That's a lot of potential exposures to diseases and pregnancy and uncomfortable conversations that run along the lines of "So I know I slept with you, but I'm just not that interested..." Some of the men took it well. Others were upset. No matter how casual we intend to be about sex, it complicates things.
Which brings me to my new resolution, heading into my 71st and 72nd first dates that are on the books for this week:
I am only going to sleep with men who I like.
Novel idea, right? I first thought of it after I had sober sex with Crazy Chinatown Man. That sex had intention, for him and for me. We knew it was coming and had discussed it briefly beforehand as legally consenting adults without alcohol in our systems. Four dates in we were far from a relationship, but the sex felt a little relationship-y. I liked him. He liked me. There was a purpose... I can't go back to fucking men for the sake of fucking- nor do I want to.
Which means, my blog may get less interesting. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
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