Blast from the Past

I am currently trying to figure out if I can have a functional relationship with the man I've been dating for the last few weeks.  It's rather unexciting.

SOOO, for the sake of keeping this blog alive while I sort out my thoughts about dating my fairly normal neighbor, let's go back to a blog post I took down a year ago, about the man I was dating who was, suffice it to say, significantly odder...

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The kink cards came out on the third date. We were making out for the first time on his couch and things were heating up. Shirts were off, pants were on, my ear was gently being nibbled when he started making a list: "I could cum in your pussy, in your mouth, on your face... I could cum in your ass."

 

 

EEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The kissing came to a screeching halt as I sought to clarify expectations. "You are NOT cumming in my ass." He didn't skip a beat. "Well, would you let me put a finger in your ass and cum on your tits?"

 

 

I agreed to that in the future if we got to know each other better. It sounded like the lesser of two evils. Then he laid me back down on his couch, kneeled over me, masturbated, and ejaculated all over my breasts. My ass was spared, and the third date ended.

 

 

The fourth date was a pleasant dinner with clothes on and PG-rated conversation. Aside from some manual below-the-belt stimulation, it was sexually uneventful. I was headed to Ohio for the weekend so we said we'd see each other the next week. I was planning on letting it rest for a few days but then I went to a wedding, drank four beers, and reached for my cell phone.
 

Me: I'm about to get real drunk and take full responsibility for any text messages I send.
 

Him: Bring it! Pictures are nice too.
 

Me: Can't you just fly to Ohio?
 

Him: No. But I can text you and tell you how much I liked your mouth on my cock.
 

The sexting was on full-force and several messages later, I found myself in a bathroom stall pulling down my dress to send a picture of my breasts to a man who I've been on four dates with.
 

Him: Keep getting me excited! What do you want to do to me? You know what I want to do to you.
 

 

I told him exactly what I wanted which was, to paraphrase, regular old in-and-out vaginal sex that most heterosexual couples are having by the 3rd to 6th date. He said he could do that, but I would have to beg... "Get you naked, hold my cock just up to your pussy... Wait... Wait... Not yet..."
 

I was at a wedding, and I looked around and saw love everywhere. The bride and groom, their families, my friends scattered across the country who traveled to rural Ohio in winter to reunite and celebrate love and commitment for a night. The entire room was dancing to polka music and drinking Bud Light. I was drunk and sappy, so I gave in to the thought on every single thirty year old woman's mind and texted, "I just want to get married. Why is this so hard?"
 

He didn't hesitate in his response: "For that, you will definitely need to give up your ass."