My 55th first date did exactly what all men who are interested in a woman should do. He followed up promptly the next day with a text message saying he had a good time, and he asked me out again. The only problem was I wasn't interested.
I thought long and hard about how to break the news to him because he didn't strike me as the kind of gentleman who would back down easily. I consulted some male friends and fellow internet daters, and we decided on the following response:
"Hey, thanks for meeting up! I had a fun time but the chemistry just wasn't there for me. But good luck in your dating search!"
Short, polite, and gives a specific reason to help with closure. I thought that would do the trick.
Nope!
"Well I have to say I'm disappointed... I don't usually create chemistry on date #1... It comes later with me. So I'd like to say give it more time."
Time is one thing I don't have. I'm 31!!!!! My ovaries are dying, my hair is graying, my boobs are starting to sag, and I'm fighting an aging metabolism to maintain a physique that will still get me laid. Also chemistry, by definition, isn't something you "create." It's there or it's not.
I wrote back and explained that I usually know on the first date if I'm feeling it and that I've regretted when I kept dating men I wasn't that interested in. I hoped to close the exchange with a piece of optimism: "Again, I did have a good time and I hope you find what you're looking for!"
He had to have the last word. "Well then we are talking about attractiveness cuz yeah that's instantaneous. You're not attracted to me/I'm not your type. It's all good."
The irony was I was attracted to him, and had I not already been sleeping with a man I'm not that into I would have endured another evening of offensive statements with the hope that maybe I'd get laid at some point. But thanks to Recovering Alcoholic I'm good on the casual sex front and I'm not that interested in needlessly adding more partners to a list that seems to be exponentially expanding.
I let him have the final text message. I've got the blog :-)
I thought long and hard about how to break the news to him because he didn't strike me as the kind of gentleman who would back down easily. I consulted some male friends and fellow internet daters, and we decided on the following response:
"Hey, thanks for meeting up! I had a fun time but the chemistry just wasn't there for me. But good luck in your dating search!"
Short, polite, and gives a specific reason to help with closure. I thought that would do the trick.
Nope!
"Well I have to say I'm disappointed... I don't usually create chemistry on date #1... It comes later with me. So I'd like to say give it more time."
Time is one thing I don't have. I'm 31!!!!! My ovaries are dying, my hair is graying, my boobs are starting to sag, and I'm fighting an aging metabolism to maintain a physique that will still get me laid. Also chemistry, by definition, isn't something you "create." It's there or it's not.
I wrote back and explained that I usually know on the first date if I'm feeling it and that I've regretted when I kept dating men I wasn't that interested in. I hoped to close the exchange with a piece of optimism: "Again, I did have a good time and I hope you find what you're looking for!"
He had to have the last word. "Well then we are talking about attractiveness cuz yeah that's instantaneous. You're not attracted to me/I'm not your type. It's all good."
The irony was I was attracted to him, and had I not already been sleeping with a man I'm not that into I would have endured another evening of offensive statements with the hope that maybe I'd get laid at some point. But thanks to Recovering Alcoholic I'm good on the casual sex front and I'm not that interested in needlessly adding more partners to a list that seems to be exponentially expanding.
I let him have the final text message. I've got the blog :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment