He messaged me first on OkCupid, and I couldn't believe it. "We seem to have an amazing amount in common," he wrote. That we did. Cute! Jewish! Doctor! Outdoorsy! Bilingual! I felt like there was a catch, but I agreed to go on a walk around Greenlake and kept my expectations low.
We met up yesterday, and I was shocked. He was indeed cute, Jewish, a doctor, outdoorsy, and bilingual. I had no idea why he was single. As we made our way around the loop, I found conversation to be easy and we had a ton in common. For the first time on a date, I was with a man who could have an intelligent, informed conversation about the Affordable Care Act. Stars were aligning! I thought he was awesome.
Then as the date was ending, he walked me to my car, gave me a hug, and said "Alright, see you later."
Uhoh.
I know "see you later" because I say it all the time when I have absolutely no intention of seeing the person later. If a man wants a second date, he usually closes with something along the lines of "We should do this again" or "I had a good time. Could I see you again?" This was my 54th first date, so I am getting pretty damn good at telling if a man is interested. I was 99% sure he was not.
Maybe he thought I wasn't interested and therefore played it cool? I second guessed myself. I met up with three friends later that day, all of whom had used OkCupid in the past, and the two men in the group assured me that "see you later" meant nothing. "Guys get nervous," they explained. "They don't know what to say or what they're doing. It's really awkward."
I still doubted his interest, but I had hope.
We all agreed that I should send him a post date text message indicating my interest and leaving the ball in his court. They said I needed to keep the text short and simple and to send it between noon and 1 pm the following day. Timing was important so that I appeared interested but not desperate. A morning text message would imply that I thought about him after waking up, which obviously is too soon. I needed to make him think that he was an afterthought, yet communicate that I did think about him. Subtext is everything.
After debating the perfect wording for a few minutes, we settled on the following sentence:
"Hey J____, just wanted to say thanks. I had a good time yesterday."
I texted it to my friend so I wouldn't forget the exact wording by the time it needed to be sent.
"Oh no no no," she said. "You need to end it with an exclamation mark! You don't seem excited at all. It sounds somber."
I thought an exclamation mark would make me sound too eager, I explained. I was hesitant to take her advice so I asked the two men their opinions. It was unanimous: "Definitely an exclamation mark."
So the sentence changed to "Hey J____, just wanted to say thanks. I had a good time yesterday!", therefore completely altering the meaning of the text and hopefully sending me off into romantic bliss for the first time in two and a half years.
Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.
I mean, Don't worry, I'll keep you posted!
We met up yesterday, and I was shocked. He was indeed cute, Jewish, a doctor, outdoorsy, and bilingual. I had no idea why he was single. As we made our way around the loop, I found conversation to be easy and we had a ton in common. For the first time on a date, I was with a man who could have an intelligent, informed conversation about the Affordable Care Act. Stars were aligning! I thought he was awesome.
Then as the date was ending, he walked me to my car, gave me a hug, and said "Alright, see you later."
Uhoh.
I know "see you later" because I say it all the time when I have absolutely no intention of seeing the person later. If a man wants a second date, he usually closes with something along the lines of "We should do this again" or "I had a good time. Could I see you again?" This was my 54th first date, so I am getting pretty damn good at telling if a man is interested. I was 99% sure he was not.
Maybe he thought I wasn't interested and therefore played it cool? I second guessed myself. I met up with three friends later that day, all of whom had used OkCupid in the past, and the two men in the group assured me that "see you later" meant nothing. "Guys get nervous," they explained. "They don't know what to say or what they're doing. It's really awkward."
I still doubted his interest, but I had hope.
We all agreed that I should send him a post date text message indicating my interest and leaving the ball in his court. They said I needed to keep the text short and simple and to send it between noon and 1 pm the following day. Timing was important so that I appeared interested but not desperate. A morning text message would imply that I thought about him after waking up, which obviously is too soon. I needed to make him think that he was an afterthought, yet communicate that I did think about him. Subtext is everything.
After debating the perfect wording for a few minutes, we settled on the following sentence:
"Hey J____, just wanted to say thanks. I had a good time yesterday."
I texted it to my friend so I wouldn't forget the exact wording by the time it needed to be sent.
"Oh no no no," she said. "You need to end it with an exclamation mark! You don't seem excited at all. It sounds somber."
I thought an exclamation mark would make me sound too eager, I explained. I was hesitant to take her advice so I asked the two men their opinions. It was unanimous: "Definitely an exclamation mark."
So the sentence changed to "Hey J____, just wanted to say thanks. I had a good time yesterday!", therefore completely altering the meaning of the text and hopefully sending me off into romantic bliss for the first time in two and a half years.
Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.
I mean, Don't worry, I'll keep you posted!
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