I have been seeing Recovering Alcoholic for about a month now. Not dating- I made that clear a few weeks ago- but seeing casually. He comes over about once a week. We talk, cuddle, have sex, talk some more. I was honest with him that I don't see a future, but I'm enjoying the short term potential.
Why has this man, who self-admits he is somewhat of a disaster, kept my attention? I have been on dates with countless men who, on paper, are great catches. They are wealthy and successful with their careers and personal lives. They don't have mental illness or addictions problems. They are solid boyfriend or husband material for most women out there. But they are also clueless about social issues I'm so passionate about- poverty, race, gender, global movements... When I think about men I have connected with over the course of my life, they all have this social awareness in common.
I'm not talking about being politically liberal, because all of my dates are. This is Seattle, and we are in our 20s and 30s. Last November when WA state experienced the triple whammy of an Obama win, marriage equality, and legalization of marijuana, thousands of my generation flooded the streets in the Pike-Pine corridor, celebrating into the wee hours of a Wednesday morning with marching bands and pot. I could hear the raucousness in my apartment a mile away. Two years of living in Seattle as an adult, and I have not met a single Republican.
One can be politically progressive and unaware of the reality in the world, however, and this is the category that most of my dates fall into. Some of them can be quite offensive without realizing it.
Like the Expedia marketing manager who lives in one of the new, posh, $$$$$ buildings on Broadway and explained his choice of apartments by raising up his pinky finger and saying "I'm in the 1%" with a smile and a wink.
Or the accountant in Ballard who, when I told him what I did for a living, asked "Don't you get tired of all the people taking advantage of the system?"
Or the IT guy who told me I had "major street cred" because I went to a bakery in White Center. Buying a pupusa in a non-white neighborhood? I live on the edge.
Most recently, my 53rd first date, a data analyst, asked me about my opinion about healthcare inequality. "So, do you think poor people have more illnesses?" You're a mother fucking data analyst! Have you not seen any data on this in your 33 years of life?!? Analyze this: No Second Date.
I know that not everyone has a career where they go to work and actively try to fight injustice in our system. I do. More than anything else in this world, my job defines who I am. Men that I connect with understand the social issues that propel me every day, sometimes because they come from disadvantaged backgrounds themselves.
Lack of societal awareness: another dealbreaker. Alcoholism and mental illness, not so much.
Why has this man, who self-admits he is somewhat of a disaster, kept my attention? I have been on dates with countless men who, on paper, are great catches. They are wealthy and successful with their careers and personal lives. They don't have mental illness or addictions problems. They are solid boyfriend or husband material for most women out there. But they are also clueless about social issues I'm so passionate about- poverty, race, gender, global movements... When I think about men I have connected with over the course of my life, they all have this social awareness in common.
I'm not talking about being politically liberal, because all of my dates are. This is Seattle, and we are in our 20s and 30s. Last November when WA state experienced the triple whammy of an Obama win, marriage equality, and legalization of marijuana, thousands of my generation flooded the streets in the Pike-Pine corridor, celebrating into the wee hours of a Wednesday morning with marching bands and pot. I could hear the raucousness in my apartment a mile away. Two years of living in Seattle as an adult, and I have not met a single Republican.
One can be politically progressive and unaware of the reality in the world, however, and this is the category that most of my dates fall into. Some of them can be quite offensive without realizing it.
Like the Expedia marketing manager who lives in one of the new, posh, $$$$$ buildings on Broadway and explained his choice of apartments by raising up his pinky finger and saying "I'm in the 1%" with a smile and a wink.
Or the accountant in Ballard who, when I told him what I did for a living, asked "Don't you get tired of all the people taking advantage of the system?"
Or the IT guy who told me I had "major street cred" because I went to a bakery in White Center. Buying a pupusa in a non-white neighborhood? I live on the edge.
Most recently, my 53rd first date, a data analyst, asked me about my opinion about healthcare inequality. "So, do you think poor people have more illnesses?" You're a mother fucking data analyst! Have you not seen any data on this in your 33 years of life?!? Analyze this: No Second Date.
I know that not everyone has a career where they go to work and actively try to fight injustice in our system. I do. More than anything else in this world, my job defines who I am. Men that I connect with understand the social issues that propel me every day, sometimes because they come from disadvantaged backgrounds themselves.
Lack of societal awareness: another dealbreaker. Alcoholism and mental illness, not so much.
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