Last week, at a friend's party, I ended up talking to a man I had absolutely no interest in. At the first chance I got, I escaped to the patio where the girls had congregated.
He made his way over later, and then asked for my number in front of my friends as the party was coming to a close. What woman would deny a nice guy her number in front of a group of people? Not me. I was stuck.
My friends loved him. "He's kind, tall, attractive, and was clearly into you." When he sent me a text message a couple minutes later that said "It was a pleasure to meet you," they swooned. I was underwhelmed.
"You have to give him a chance! Just go out with him once, and maybe you'll become attracted to him once you get to know him."
I retorted that I can't go out with someone who I can't imagine myself making out with. "Then don't make out with him on the first date! Wait and see if an attraction develops!"
I went out with him tonight, and I have to admit that they had a point. This midwest boy has a master's in creative writing, is working on a book, plays sports, goes hiking, was polite, showed an interest in me, and did not make me wish that I was sticking a pen in my eye five minutes into the date. He did become more attractive to me as the night went on, and I started to wonder what it would be like to kiss him. All good signs.
But I have that nagging feeling- that every time I've been in love, I have known right away that we had something special. When I've ignored the absence of that chemistry with men in the past and tried to forge a relationship based on kindness and compatability alone, I regretted it. I want to stretch myself and give nice guys a chance when I have borderline feelings, but in the end, I feel like it will always come down to that "it" factor. Then again, that "it" factor sometimes guides me to losers.
What draws me to a man? To be continued...
He made his way over later, and then asked for my number in front of my friends as the party was coming to a close. What woman would deny a nice guy her number in front of a group of people? Not me. I was stuck.
My friends loved him. "He's kind, tall, attractive, and was clearly into you." When he sent me a text message a couple minutes later that said "It was a pleasure to meet you," they swooned. I was underwhelmed.
"You have to give him a chance! Just go out with him once, and maybe you'll become attracted to him once you get to know him."
I retorted that I can't go out with someone who I can't imagine myself making out with. "Then don't make out with him on the first date! Wait and see if an attraction develops!"
I went out with him tonight, and I have to admit that they had a point. This midwest boy has a master's in creative writing, is working on a book, plays sports, goes hiking, was polite, showed an interest in me, and did not make me wish that I was sticking a pen in my eye five minutes into the date. He did become more attractive to me as the night went on, and I started to wonder what it would be like to kiss him. All good signs.
But I have that nagging feeling- that every time I've been in love, I have known right away that we had something special. When I've ignored the absence of that chemistry with men in the past and tried to forge a relationship based on kindness and compatability alone, I regretted it. I want to stretch myself and give nice guys a chance when I have borderline feelings, but in the end, I feel like it will always come down to that "it" factor. Then again, that "it" factor sometimes guides me to losers.
What draws me to a man? To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment