Well, I got over that quickly. How do I know? The day after it happened, I got a full night's sleep, ran eight miles, had breakfast, and headed out to Oregon to meet friends for three days of camping and hiking. In other words, it was a totally normal Pacific Northwest summer weekend.
During my last heartbreak I lost twenty pounds off of my 5'1'' frame while surviving on Mexican sodas- the only calories I could choke down. I dreamed about driving my car off a cliff into the Columbia River and took Vicodin before going to bed to make the dreams go away. I had to quit a job that I loved, relocate cities, and fly to Asia to try and get over the last man I had serious feelings for. This time around, I'm good.
I felt stupid for crying in front of him, a man who I'd been on seven dates with. Then I thought about the past three years and realized why the tears were completely justified. Let's rehash what I count as my "success" stories again:
1) Man I dated for six weeks who spent five of them trying to convince me to have anal sex with him and then broke up with me with a text message, while I was on vacation in Hawaii, because I "talk too much."
2) A one-night stand with a 45 year old who lives 3000 miles away.
3) Most recent dude.
And my almost-success stories, the men I dated where we tried and ultimately failed to have that connection:
1) Jewish law student who, when I ended our relationship, physically shook me until I broke into tears, covered my face, and begged him not to hit me, then told me he loved me as I got out of his house as quickly as possible. See why I prefer text message breakups?
2) Downstairs neighbor who knocked on my door at 4 am going through alcohol withdrawals, asking me for Xanax.
If three years of dating landed you ZERO relationships that lasted more than two months, you would probably cry too. My standards have dropped from a Jewish, financially-stable vegetarian who climbs mountains, is passionate about social justice, and wants a family to... any fun man who I enjoy having sex with. Those standards have been met exactly three times.
F.M.L. Hard.
During my last heartbreak I lost twenty pounds off of my 5'1'' frame while surviving on Mexican sodas- the only calories I could choke down. I dreamed about driving my car off a cliff into the Columbia River and took Vicodin before going to bed to make the dreams go away. I had to quit a job that I loved, relocate cities, and fly to Asia to try and get over the last man I had serious feelings for. This time around, I'm good.
I felt stupid for crying in front of him, a man who I'd been on seven dates with. Then I thought about the past three years and realized why the tears were completely justified. Let's rehash what I count as my "success" stories again:
1) Man I dated for six weeks who spent five of them trying to convince me to have anal sex with him and then broke up with me with a text message, while I was on vacation in Hawaii, because I "talk too much."
2) A one-night stand with a 45 year old who lives 3000 miles away.
3) Most recent dude.
And my almost-success stories, the men I dated where we tried and ultimately failed to have that connection:
1) Jewish law student who, when I ended our relationship, physically shook me until I broke into tears, covered my face, and begged him not to hit me, then told me he loved me as I got out of his house as quickly as possible. See why I prefer text message breakups?
2) Downstairs neighbor who knocked on my door at 4 am going through alcohol withdrawals, asking me for Xanax.
If three years of dating landed you ZERO relationships that lasted more than two months, you would probably cry too. My standards have dropped from a Jewish, financially-stable vegetarian who climbs mountains, is passionate about social justice, and wants a family to... any fun man who I enjoy having sex with. Those standards have been met exactly three times.
F.M.L. Hard.
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