I take complete responsibility for the failure of Date #80. In retrospect, I was distracted online by the fact that he was a lifelong Oregon resident and filmmaker who wants to have children, so I ignored the obvious mega red flag that Game of Thrones is his favorite tv show. Such a dumb mistake- and one that I never would have made in Seattle. I am out of practice, folks!
He wrote on his internet profile, "I raised a baby squirrel, she lived with me for a year and a half. Her babies still come to visit me.", which would have been a great reason to hit the "back" button and move on with my life had I thought the situation through. But again- filmmaker who wants children! Did I really want to take issue with a domesticated jumping rodent?
Always take issue with a domesticated jumping rodent.
We met in Southeast Portland at the vegan bar Sweet Hereafter. He said he was a bit late because he had dropped off his mail-in ballot.
"So did you vote for Trump or Cruz?", I joked.
He looked horrified. "Sanders, obviously."
There was one thing that could save this date, and that, my friends, was a ten minute lesson on squirrel genealogy. It started with "Sneakers," who he fed from a medicine dropper as an infant. When Sneakers came of squirrel age, she had a suitor, "Al," who would visit her in the window and rub his nose against hers in the pane. They went on to have their first litter of squirrels, most of which survived. Sadly, none of the second litter made it. Sneakers died while giving birth to the third litter. It was the same week that my date's grandma passed away, and the combination of the two events was "really hard." Thankfully, Sneaker's offspring, "Mark" and "Anna" come to visit frequently.
"Wow, you must know a lot about squirrel behavior," was the only thing I could think of to say.
"I kind of do, but I know more about their behavior when raised by humans. Mark would do a little dance before he knew I was going to give him a peanut, and then he taught Anna to do the same thing. But that's not universal squirrel behavior, that's just what they do with me."
#notintech
He wrote on his internet profile, "I raised a baby squirrel, she lived with me for a year and a half. Her babies still come to visit me.", which would have been a great reason to hit the "back" button and move on with my life had I thought the situation through. But again- filmmaker who wants children! Did I really want to take issue with a domesticated jumping rodent?
Always take issue with a domesticated jumping rodent.
We met in Southeast Portland at the vegan bar Sweet Hereafter. He said he was a bit late because he had dropped off his mail-in ballot.
"So did you vote for Trump or Cruz?", I joked.
He looked horrified. "Sanders, obviously."
There was one thing that could save this date, and that, my friends, was a ten minute lesson on squirrel genealogy. It started with "Sneakers," who he fed from a medicine dropper as an infant. When Sneakers came of squirrel age, she had a suitor, "Al," who would visit her in the window and rub his nose against hers in the pane. They went on to have their first litter of squirrels, most of which survived. Sadly, none of the second litter made it. Sneakers died while giving birth to the third litter. It was the same week that my date's grandma passed away, and the combination of the two events was "really hard." Thankfully, Sneaker's offspring, "Mark" and "Anna" come to visit frequently.
"Wow, you must know a lot about squirrel behavior," was the only thing I could think of to say.
"I kind of do, but I know more about their behavior when raised by humans. Mark would do a little dance before he knew I was going to give him a peanut, and then he taught Anna to do the same thing. But that's not universal squirrel behavior, that's just what they do with me."
#notintech
No comments:
Post a Comment