I disabled OkCupid for two months because, contrary to popular belief, dating is not my life. I had priorities this summer, and they included enjoying the fuck out of the most gorgeous Seattle weather I can remember in my 32 years of life, and then climbing Mount Rainier. Mission accomplished at 14,410feet; I can now focus on putting a gigantic, responsibly-sourced diamond on this Pacific Northwest finger. (Will donate 10% of the proceeds to your favorite nonprofit.)
It is statistically impossible, I tell myself, that there is not a single awesome man in this city who would love to date a cute, smart, beer-drinking, sex-loving, mountain climber chick. I reactivated my OkCupid account.
My optimism got the best of me after my most recent 6 week OkCupid "success" story, and I had forgotten how bad it is. There were four men wearing kilts in pictures. I received a message that said, in its entirety, "Like Batman and Superman?". A man whose screen name is GiantHomunculus was a 94% match to me. There is a section to describe your relationship type as "monogamous" or "non-monogamous." And all of this absurdity is BEFORE I read the profile contents.
I've been doing this for three years, and I'm now much better at quickly filtering out the men who I will never, ever connect with. Any of the following words come up in a profile, and I hit the "back" button immediately:
Geek
Nerd
Videogames
Animae
Polyamory
"I have an amazing girlfriend who knows I'm on this site"
Open marriage
Computer graphics
420 friendly
Witty banter
Height: 5'4''
Herpes (not joking here, people list their STDs online)
"I ran out of razors. My beard is getting out of hand!"
#66, here I come!
It is statistically impossible, I tell myself, that there is not a single awesome man in this city who would love to date a cute, smart, beer-drinking, sex-loving, mountain climber chick. I reactivated my OkCupid account.
My optimism got the best of me after my most recent 6 week OkCupid "success" story, and I had forgotten how bad it is. There were four men wearing kilts in pictures. I received a message that said, in its entirety, "Like Batman and Superman?". A man whose screen name is GiantHomunculus was a 94% match to me. There is a section to describe your relationship type as "monogamous" or "non-monogamous." And all of this absurdity is BEFORE I read the profile contents.
I've been doing this for three years, and I'm now much better at quickly filtering out the men who I will never, ever connect with. Any of the following words come up in a profile, and I hit the "back" button immediately:
Geek
Nerd
Videogames
Animae
Polyamory
"I have an amazing girlfriend who knows I'm on this site"
Open marriage
Computer graphics
420 friendly
Witty banter
Height: 5'4''
Herpes (not joking here, people list their STDs online)
"I ran out of razors. My beard is getting out of hand!"
#66, here I come!
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